2016 Hopes and DreamsJanuary 4, 2016
Happy New Year, TDO faithful. Here’s hoping your 2016 is off to a flyer for you kinda like it is for Chelsea (sic). Mine has started off fine, not fine enough to raise the roof, just fine. So anyway it promises to be one hell of a year, competition-wise and obviously I have some wishes to convey to the mighty gods of football in aid of my various teams. Yeah, various.
Arsenal to win the league
There’s nothing in this world I crave more than this, not even world peace. 11 years has been an eternity. It’s about time. And you know for Arsenal to achieve this feat, to an extent, there has to be a degree of divine intervention. So dear gods, you’ve seen we’re two points clear at the top currently, please, keep the points coming. 18 games left, all we need is 13 wins. In that respect, please look to your humble servant, Mesut Özil. Keep him safe from the jaws of injury, poor form and inept strikers at the end of his heavenly final passes. He’s our everything. Also, bring back Alexis Sanchez, Danny Welbeck and Jack Wilshere soon enough. It doesn’t matter if we have to give up the Champions League or the FA Cup, thee football gods. I don’t ask for much, just the Barclays Premier League title.
Inter to rise like the phoenix
It still feels like a dream that my ‘special child’ Inter tops the Serie A log after 17 rounds. My prayer is that dear gods, you may deem it fit to have the league season end at this point. I know of your capabilities and I firmly believe that isn’t beyond you. Granted, it may prove a tad too much to ask, and my apologies for that. Napoli will run out steam, that I know. They are too hipster to win this thing. The problem is Juventus. I don’t know, revered deities, but the Old Lady is that rash that just won’t go away. Just months ago they were fighting relegation and now just 3 points behind us. All I ask is that you get hold of manager Roberto Mancini and make him realize that in our Captain, Leader, Legend Mauro Icardi (bless his feet) he has a goal-getting beast just waiting to be unshackled. May Roby find a system of playing Icardi alongside Stevan Jovetic, Adem Llajic and Jonathan Biabiany. If we can see that happen consistently, the Nerazzurri will be back to where it belongs, at the apex of Italian football.
Bayern Munich to conquer Europe
First of all hallowed gods, I must say I was ticked off by you not doing anything to stop guru Pep Guardiola from wanting out of Munich. I mean, why? Anyway, that’s that and now all I want is that he signs off in style – with the Treble. What stands between Pep and that feat is merely this small thing called injuries. I don’t know if it is too much to ask for Pep to have all of Thiago Alcantara, Douglas Costa, Arjen Robben, Franck Ribery and Mario Götze fit for just two months from April to May? Surely, it shouldn’t be such a big ask. Everything else is fine, my lords, except for that.
Real Madrid to steal La Liga from under the noses of Barcelona and Atletico Madrid
Lords, imagine that mechanical Atleti 1-0-ing their way to winning the league again when our Lord and Saviour Cristiano Ronaldo is still at his prime? I fully understand there’s a litany of problems at the Bernabeu, starting with the coach, Rafael Benitez. We are not even sure if he’s good enough anymore, or is just frauding his way to riches and unfitness. We have the players, I just don’t know why we are making heavy weather out of something rather as straight forward as this. Please, football gods, take the wheel.
Lyon to be decent again
Indeed, things have sunk to such alarmingly low levels. I mean, we get beat by anyone in Ligue1, at home, away, Friday, Sunday, anyhow. We are 9th, 25 points behind PSG but that’s not the worst part. Teams like Angers, Caen and Nice are ahead of us! Seriously, if I didn’t know better I’d think we are competing (unfavourably) against a bunch of biscuit brands! But I have faith, now that Bruno Genesio has replaced Hubert Fournier as coach, we can at least be a decent team that just doesn’t roll over. The position is irrelevant. Decency is all I ask for.
Germany to conquer France
Adolf Hitler must have dreamt of something similar only that in this case we’re talking football, not war. The new DFB Adidas kit is indeed an eyesore but dear gods, we ask that you look the other side with regards to this embarrassing transgression. If in June-July Thomas Müller is in peak form, we will be forever grateful, because Die Mannschaft won’t be stopped. True story.
So yeah, that’s about it – my prayer for 2016, the year of our Lord. My the gods grant these wishes, and overall, have yourselves an unforgettable footballing year. Again, happy new year!